Dear Quentin,

My spouse hides his money and all of his investments are hidden.

I have lived in Boston since 2006. I moved from New York and gave up my job of 16 years because we got married and I relocated, leaving my two adult children, who were 21 and 24. I divorced my first husband in 1998 and met my spouse in 2000. My husband, who is 70, will be retired four years in October. He spent most of his career in the U.S. Army Reserve, where he spent 24 years.

I see his mail from time to time, but he keeps everything locked up in a file cabinet. He gets four incomes per month, and everything goes directly to his accounts. He lives off his Social Security each month. I work full time and make $50,000 a year. My husband gives me $150 each month. Sometimes, he forgets. When I ask for it, he gets angry or doesn’t give it to me.

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He has never been married before, and has three daughters in their 40s and 50s. He has no connection to them at all, but I do think they know where we live. He bought a three-bedroom home before we married. I have not contributed to this mortgage, and my name is not on the deed. I pay for water, heat, phone, food and other things. He has an income of over $8,000 a month. He has saved and invested in CDs, and has a 457 Smart Plan, among other investments. I have my own 457, and I put $400 into it every month.

IF this person came into my office, I would let her know if he retired before they were married, there would be no equity in the house.  If they retired after they were married, she might have a case.  Military pensions accrue community property in the US so she would receive a portion based upon the length of marriage.  This is still a BAD set of facts.